Joe Pickett by C.J. Box – Book to Screen

Joe Pickett C.J. Box CJ Box
C.J. Box’s “Joe Pickett” … starring a bunch of nobodys

Have you picked up on the Joe Pickett TV series on Amazon Prime?  I just did last night.  Having already made my way through three-quarters of the current available books … I gotta tell ya … the Joe Pickett TV series is a hotdog!

I’ll explain what I mean by ‘a hotdog’ — but first, I need to back-up a little …

Ten-plus years ago I couldn’t be less interested in Westerns.  I had seen few such movies or TV shows — as far as I was concerned, they were okay — but for the most part … they didn’t catch my interest.  Then, one evening, one of my piping students turned me on to westerns.  He had received his first set of bagpipes — and new pipes need a lot of work to get set up right — so I suggested that we book an evening where he brought his instrument, snacks and a stack of movies.  We watched True Grit (remake) and Appaloosaand I was HOOKED!  (Or maybe ‘roped in’ is more genre correct?)  I have since come to not just enjoy but also value this section of the big-screen selection.

(Side Note — In my new exploration, I’ve found the source of scenes and characters in Firefly from Westerns and other Sci-Fi movies.)

Longmire Craig Johnson
Craig Johnson’s “Longmire” staring Robert Taylor, Katee Sackhoff, and Lou Diamond Phillips

In more recent years, I was given solid recommendations about the Longmire TV series, so I bookmarked the seasons in my To-Watch List.  These kept getting passed over, and a few years ago I decided to give them a try.  With the first few episodes I COULDN’T GET ENOUGH!  I fairly well binge-watched  the seasons back-to-back.

Once through the TV series, I wanted more — yep, I loved  watching Longmire!  So I thought to give the original Craig Johnson books a try.  I soon found that the TV show and the source material had little to do with each other.  Book one, in my opinion, was so miserable I didn’t want to give the second book a chance — I had excitedly downloaded them all from my library, and I  remorselessly deleted the entire collection.  Sorry, Craig — them’s the breaks!

Still, I wanted more Longmire’ism … a modern western based around a flawed yet well oriented good-guy, finding his way through life while striving for justice in the face of complex moral situations controlled by underhanded, devious bad-guys.

A short time later, I was given the suggestion to try the Joe Pickett books by C.J. Box — a few beautifully descriptive lines were even read to me, and I soon dove into the debut story.  The work quickly revealed that the stories are thought provoking and well paced between exposition and thrills.  The main character is easy to enjoy and endearing in his foibles.  Box writes pleasing storylines with an array of characters — better than that are his beautiful descriptions, usually presenting a moment in nature.  I wanted something like Longmire, and I began to find this in the Joe Pickett books with a whole new character to appreciate.

(Side Note — C.J. Box’s ability to release one book a year in chronological story order — book #1 in 2001, book #2 in 2002, and so on — has also been impressive.)

(Additional Side Note — I think the Longmire TV series ‘borrowed’ story elements from the Joe Pickett books to make what they couldn’t out of the Longmire stories.  There are too many things in Season 01 that are identical in the early C.J. Box books … or to say, too similar to be a coincidence.)

Jesse Stone Robert B. Parker
Robert B. Parker’s “Jesse Stone”, starring Tom Selleck

As I progressed through the books — in my case, I have been consuming the audiobooks — I thought that this character and these stories would make for a good TV series.  Or maybe a couple of good quality movies … maybe made-for-TV, similar to the Jesse Stone installments.  What better time than now to feature a down-to-earth do-right family-man through a “neo-western“.

Around the release of book 22 or 23 I picked up that these Joe Pickett was going to get made into a TV series — I was thrilled!  Someone read my mind, came up with a bunch of production money, and were on their way to fulfil my wish — that was considerate of them!

Jack Carr James Reese The Terminal List
Jack Carr’s “The Terminal List”, starring Chris Pratt

Last evenings I finished Season 01 of the Jack Carr / James Reese / Terminal List on Amazon Prime — books 1 through 5 and the recently released 6 had been GREAT!  Out of curiosity, I scrolled down through the TV series listings and … to my surprise … happened to find the “Joe Pickett” TV series!  I had been expecting to wait and hear more about my favourite fictional game warden hitting screens, and IT’S ALREADY BEEN MADE!!!

Clicking the link, I was excited to see that Season 01 is available now through 30June2023, and I’m right in time for the release of Season 02 on 04July2023!  Between last night and today, I watched through the first 3 episodes of Season 01.  Before finishing Episode 01 I found myself frankly disappointed.  In my opinion … the Joe Pickett TV series is terrible — I forced myself to finish Episode 03 — and I’m giving up on the show.

The Expanse James S.A. Corey Sci-Fi
James S. A. Corey’s “The Expanse”, starring a bunch of people you don’t know — but the show is so incredibly great YOU DON’T CARE!

Like books, just because you start a TV series doesn’t mean you are required to finish it.  Each of us only live so long, and if the book you’re reading isn’t pleasing … move on to another.  I have better things to watch — like The Expanse, which I’ve also been reading (audiobook) — and my viewing time is better spent with something that I find makes me happy.  So in this case, I’d rather preserve perception of Joe Picket that I have from the books than the garbage the producers are trying to pass-off as the TV show.

I think this IMDB review does a good job of introducing the conflict …


DiCaprioFan13 / 4 October 2022

“Joe Pickett is a must watch for any western fan. It seems most people who’ve watched it seem to really like it. The only people who seem not to like it are fans of the book that are mad that it isn’t exactly like the book.


Yosemite Sam‘Not exactly the same as the book’ … really, how hard is it to get a modern-day story based in reality reasonably correct?  The book started at an exciting moment that would have been a great hook for the TV show — NOPE, they didn’t do that!  The pistol Joe Pickett is carrying is the wrong type, but I guess strapping a revolver on him makes more of a Western impression?  Giving TV-Joe the less-expensive problematic truck that book-Joe distinctly complained about was not good enough for the production budget?  Fitting TV-Joe with the dog that book-Joe doesn’t get until much-later in the series does … what … win cute-points with the unfamiliar audience?  Putting the Pickett family in a nicer (2-story) house on a better piece of property located outside of town was somehow more TV-savvy?  In the books, the (single-story, cramped) crummy house provided through his low-paying state job speaks to his humility and his wife’s love of Joe superseding materialism.  I should also mention that his mother-in-law, Missy, is all wrong and April (their adopted daughter) arrives too early.

For me though, this isn’t the crux of the issue — this isn’t why I find it disappointing, or why another viewer like DiCaprioFan13 might think that Joe Pickett book readers are somehow ‘angry’.
(Not to mention that it seems DiCaprioFan13 makes redundant use of “it seem/s”, seemingly in close proximity … doesn’t it seem like that would make someone itch?)

So what do I mean when I say that
the Joe Pickett TV series is a hotdog”?

hotdog
There comes a point where you just can’t bring yourself to eat these things anymore…

Have you ever heard the humor-intended line about what hotdogs are made of?  At the end of the work-day in a butcher’s shop, the butcher sweeps the floor, and what they collect in their dust pan is what they use to make hotdogs — dirt, dust, and discarded bits of bone and meat … or what previously looked like something edible.

I will 100% own that I am biased by the C.J. Box / Joe Pickett books.  Yes, I am one of the fans of the books who are unhappy — not because the show ‘isn’t exactly like the book‘, but because it is such a terribly missed opportunity at making a good TV series out of a good book series.

Michael Dorman
Have you seen this man …. ANYWHERE?!?

The collection of actors in the show seem to be C, D, E, and F-List nobodys — most of whom I have never seen, including the lead played by Michael Dorman.  The choices someone made for the characters — the changes loosely based on the books — has turned them into amateurish versions of the characters.  This book series seems to have received the same wacko-treatment Disney has been applying to Star Wars since buying the franchise — changing the characters for agenda-driven reasons instead of serving the previously developed story, and telling the established fanbase what they should like.

My general impression of Joe in the books is that he is more more … manly … than the Joe actor in the TV series.  I’m not saying he’s duke-dashing with a chiseled physique and Tom Selleck’s chest carpet, but somehow more … masculine.  I don’t know how better to say it, but this guy seems like a +90% self-doubting beta-male.  When you are familiar with the characters in the books, and see how they’re changed in the TV show … one could easily form the impression that specific choices were made in attempt to satiate the new politically-correct mob.

Freedom Arms Model 83 .500 WE
Big Bad bah-dah BOOM!

In the books, Joe and his wife are a team — he confides in her, and she places her trust in him.  However, in the TV show, Marybeth steers Joe.  Nate Romanowski in the books is a ruggedly handsome, tall, blond, white man, former special forces.  Alternatively, in the TV show Nate is “… one part mystic, one part hardened criminal. He was a survivalist who (lives) off the grid deep in the woods …” and is played by a black man (and not the only character who has undergone such changes, clearly for the sake of ardent “Political Correctness!”).  When Joe meets Nate, he conducts himself more like a ghetto gangster than the way any former special forces soldier would — brandishing a pistol that doesn’t appear to be the celebrated Freedom Arms Model 83 .500 WE Nate is famous for in the books (until switching to another similar revolver around book 12).

C.J. Box
C.J. Box … YEE-HAWWW!!!

Supposedly there are funny bits in the TV show that weren’t in the books.  Three episodes and I never caught one of those.  Is there a guide that tells viewers where those are?  I mean, it makes sense, right — the producers are already telling you what you should think society should be like … so why not this funny-bits guide, too?  Frankly, were I C.J. Box, I’d feel worse about this show than finding out I had permanent podium / lectern and basic geographical errors in my books*.
(* see below)

I have no idea what C.J. Box’s opinion is of the Joe Pickett TV series.  Maybe he likes it, or — and I wouldn’t be surprised — maybe he’s contractually obligated to say he approves of it.  But personally I’m sorry for him, and I’m sorry for Joe Pickett.  Compared to the books, the TV show is a hotdog — floor sweepings, collected up and shoved into a casing, sold as being ‘good for you’ when really its* only worth being dumped into the garbage.
(* that was intentional)


podium
People stand on podiums
Speakers stand at or behind lecterns

I would be remiss if I didn’t say there have been a few things that have made me twitch from the Joe Pickett books.

Recently I started book #15.  It was only just before this that C.J. Box, his editor, or his wife seemed to get the difference between a podium and a lectern corrected — although in American English “podium” has sadly come to mean “lectern” through  further dumbing-down of the language.  Here’s a tip — DO NOT STAND ON A LECTERN — it’s dangerous, you could get hurt.  I know I won’t make that mistake a third time.  Alternatively, under most circumstances, it should be safe to speak standing behind a podium.

Paul Bunyan Babe the blue ox
Recent photo from Bremerton, WA

One or more geographical errors would have been corrected if someone just looked at a map.  While reading (listening to) an early book, I laughed sardonically when some hitmen were approaching Bremerton, WA ‘from the east’ driving their SUV, arriving in a logging town full of modern lumberjacks in a bar.  Apparently this SUV has some sort of non-factory amphibious feature — pontoons perhaps?  I presume the nearby US Navy base would like to know about this technology.  I also suspect it’s the United States Navy that is hiding all those lumberjacks, too!  The secret is now out … you read it here first at BagpiperDon.com … Area 51 hides the flying saucers and aliens, while the Bremerton Navy base hides all the loggers!

amphibious vehicle
We’re headed to Bremerton, boys!

 

Patriotic Piper V.01 @ The Piper’s Hut!

Pah-SKETTIE!!!

As everyone knows, the Corona pandemic has thrown everything out of wack.  Being an author, it has made for an odd time to release a book — or, as Billy Bob Shakespeare said, “To publish during a pandemic, or not to publish: that is the question.”  The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01 has been in  print for just over a year, and as of today November and December 2021 have been the most exciting yet!

Normal Circumstances & One Year Ago

PSST — In addition to 50+ food and beverage recipes, this book also features 3 of my personal compositions.

Before I jump in, it helps if you understand a few things about the book-world from the business end…

I am a self-published author; to date I have three titles to my name and three new books I aim to publish Spring 2022.  As a self-published author all the work to bring a book to reality has to be done, over-seen, and/or paid-for by me.  A self-published author can work their tail-feathers off to promote a book in advance of and once published (or not).  Usually a book sees its best sales when it publishes, and over time the sales decline.

BTW — this e-book is FREE!

Due to this, I had the personal “To publish or not to publish” debate prior to releasing The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01.  Would it be better to complete and hold the publication until things ‘normalized’ … or would it be better to release it and re-work to promote it after the pandemic?  I decided that it was better to publish, have it out in the world and see what happens … and even though it hasn’t done much, I don’t regret that decision.

The Patriotic Piper, Vol. 01

Patriotic Piper Vol. I COVER FRONT
One of the first copies ordered, delivered to a piper friend.

My book could be called “unusual” — I rather the term “eclectic”.  It is the official music collection for The Scottish American Military Society (SAMS) Post 1889 Pipes & Drums — which I head up.  The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01 includes 20 traditional Scottish, American, and Irish military and parotic tunes for Highland bagpipes — and tune history.  It also includes 15 Scottish and Irish recipes — and food trivia.  It’s also a fundraiser item for Post 1889.

Like I said … “eclectic”.  While it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I like to think that it still offers a little something for everyone.  I can agree that this is an “unusual” book, and take that as a compliment.

The Piper’s Hut

Many bagpipe supply shops are website based.  One of these is The Piper’s Hut, located in Pickerington, Ohio.  As I see it, The Piper’s Hut has everything — great product selection, competitive prices, and outstanding service.  Obviously, they are one of my favourite bagpipe suppliers!

This past July the preeminent weekly Celtic-music video broadcast, Tartan Tunes, interviewed me about The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01 on one of their weekly broadcasts.  Outside of that, it’s been hard to get any traction for my book.  During November, Jon Maffett — owner of The Piper’s Hut — expressed interest in carrying my book.  You can only imagine how thrilled I was!  Getting a bagpipe supplier — not to mention one of my favourites — to carry my book meant that it would not only get additional sales but also receive better attention by the members of the piping community.

So, of course, I ordered copies to The Piper’s Hut as fast as I could!

Last Night, This Morning, and Noon Today

Last NightGOOD NEWS — I received a photo text from a piping friend.  It showed that my book had been listed on The Piper’s Hut website.  My book had been publicized through their most recent email, advertising new products — right at the top of the email!

This MorningGOOD NEWS — I received an email from The Piper’s Hut reading that …. THEY SOLD OUT IN 18 HOURS!!!!  Yes, Jon and his wife, Michelle, can legitimately claim that they are able to sell books faster than Amazon.

Noon Today GOOD NEWS — I spoke with Jon and he requested an order of additional copies of The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01.  While these books will of course be on back-order for a short period, folks can keep ordering copies from The Piper’s Hut. And to think I was thrilled to have this book as part of Piper’s Hut inventory before …. today I am OVER THE MOON!😃

The Big Picture

Is this THAT big of a deal?  Well … maybe not.  However, in the weird pandemic-time this is among the first ‘thing’ to happen for The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01.  I’ve not personally seen copies of my book sell this fast, and if nothing else … it feels good!  My hope is that this is the first of things to come.  Heck … it’d be a kick if The Piper’s Hut sold out of today’s order before the shipment arrived — and Jon and Michelle had to order more.  So like I said before the book is out in the world … let’s see what happens!

PS …

Work on The Patriotic Piper Vol. 02 is already underway.  I have a solid concept for Vol. 03, and concepts for books 04 and 05 are still getting finalized.  Remember … you read it here FIRST!

ALSO… the e-book version of The Patriotic Piper Vol. 01 is also available at SmashWords and most other major e-book retailers.

Tartan Tunes Interview 29July2021

HEY — “The Patriotic Piper, Vol. I” received some special attention yesterday! Tartan Tunes is a preeminent weekly Celtic-music video broadcast, highlighting all Celtic types musicians and their music.  The hosts, Peter and Davie, selected me for  their What’s New Wednesday episode, and interviewed me about The Patriotic Piper and piping experiences.

It was a pleasure getting to spend some time with these gentlemen.  They asked fantastic questions, and have been the first-ever to shed some light on my book — I haven’t even been able to go out and show The Patriotic Piper to anyone!

Thanks, guys — I hope to see you again!  ~ Don

Click on the image below to replay the interview on YouTube.
Tartan Tunes Interview
Peter, Davie, and Don

Links to Tartan Tunes

Links to BagpiperDon’s Books

Breach (2020)

Yes, I am including Breach (2020, also titled Anti-Life) in my zombie film reviews.  WHY?  Because, by today’s zombie film standards, this fits the model … well, not any worse than Billy Elliot.

Around the year 2242 A.D., Earth is facing an extinction level event.  300,000 survivors are selected to board a spaceship called the Ark (meanwhile 19 billion people are left behind for the big bye-bye).  This ship will take them to a planet to be newly colonized, which will be called New Earth.  Extinction level event, Ark, New Earth — yeah, I know, real inventive.  Shortly into the multi-month trip, a saboteur releases something on board to kill off the crew and 300K passengers in hypersleep.  This wormy slug thing kills people, infects them, and turns the dead in to reanimated (<– SEE, zombie film!) killer monsters.

I’ll stop there because I hate spoilers.

I picked up on Breach from folks talking about it online.  Folks seemed to either love it or hate it.  It’s sci-fi, Bruce Willis and Thomas Jane are the only recognizable stars — ehh — I had to watch it!  So far as I could tell this was a moderately budgeted film (that flopped in the theaters, but it was released just as COVID-19 restrictions were being loosened) that takes you by surprise.  It might not have been spectacular, but I thought it was pretty good.  As zombie films go, understanding that it might be a zombie film … I’d give it a Yellow Puss rating.

This is what a dentist sees following Hallowe’en weekend…

Links

Anna And The Apocalypse (2017)

Imagine it . . .  You’re an angsty high school student in a small town, heading toward your imminent graduation and thinking about your future.  You’re hassled by your principal and being hounded by your ex, while your best friend won’t just come out and tell you that they’re in love with you.  What’s worse, it’s the night of the school Christmas pageant when the zombie apocalypse begins.  Maybe this isn’t you, but it is Anna And The Apocalypse (2017) — so break out  the melee weapons!

Anna And The Apocalypse is a huge ball of fun for the right viewer.  It’s a musical with dance numbers, set in high school during Christmas right at the beginning of the zombie apocalypse.  Frankly, I was playing it and barely watching when, about 20 minutes into the film, a zombie was killed in a hilarious and absolutely new and inventive way as far as zombie films go.  The music is also quite good and the song settings is perfect.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that the story is set in Scotland?!?

Anna And The Apocalypse just may be my new favourite Christmas movie.  My rating is Green Ooze, and Anna And The Apocalypse can be found on my list of BagpiperDon’s Favourite Zombie Movies!

Links

Dead Before Dawn (2012)

Dead Before Dawn (2012)A CURSE IS UNLEASHED in Dead Before Dawn!

A group of college friends — some of whom play football and wear cheer leader outfits for a high school, because that isn’t confusing — accidentally break an evil urn in an occult gift shop.  As the dust settles they inadvertently create a horrible curseis there any other kind —  UPON THEMSELVES!

SPHS
SPHS — yeah… usually HS means High School — so how are they college students?!?  Is it possible that these “college” students attend St. Paul’s High School in Winnipeg, Manitoba?

As a result of the malediction, everyone they make eye contact with will kill themselves and then become “Zemons” — a combination of Zombie Demons — and the high school college kids only have 24 hours to reverse the curse!  With the fate of the entire world resting on their shoulders, our heroes race through the night armed with a slew of homemade weapons, avoiding eye contact and hickeys, and filling their shopping list of items needed to reverse their curse.  Will they be able to reverse the curse and save the day, or will all of humanity be Dead Before Dawn?

spawn from Hell seeks loving gentleman
This gave me flashbacks of some of my ex-girfriends … oh yeah, good times.

Dead Before Dawn is not a serious zombie film.

If you come away from DBD thinking, “You know, as serious films of the zombie genre go … that sucked!”  I read reviews that essentially said this, and those people MISSED THE POINT.

Spoof – A humorous imitation of something, typically a film or a particular genre of film, in which its characteristic features are exaggerated for comic effect.

Dead Before Dawn is similar to Z Nation — they’re intentionally trying to be goofy and make fun of comedy zombie films (see “parody“).  For me this was an unexpected film and looked like what films of this sort should be — fun to make.  It made me feel like I was watching Fido for the first time again.

free candy
Emmett Lathrop “Doc” Brown, Ph.D. – a student of all sciences and the inventor of the first time machine built out of a DeLorean
Christopher Lloyd
If you don’t recognize this guy it’s Christopher Lloyd playing a high school senior in 1958

Give this blood-soaked adventure horrorcomedy a watch — it’s an unexpected fun zombie-demon flick from Canada, great for a laid-back kick-back chuckle with friends.

Written by Tim Doiron and directed by April Mullen, it stars a bunch of folks I’m not familiar with and presume are Canadian along with Christopher Lloyd — who I will always think of as Emmett “Doc” Brown.  88 minutes long, this is the first ever live-action, 100% Canadian feature film to be shot in Stereoscopic 3-D.  Filmed in 20 days in and around the Niagara Falls region of Canada in 2011, it features occasional adult humor and it achieves being a fun film without revealing adult body parts frequently found in zombie films.

I rate Dead Before Dawn — drum roll pleaseGreen Ooze!  Maybe moderately green, but definitely green — good job Canucks!

Links

The Battery (2012)

Wow — sometimes I really hate this hobby … reviewing zombie films.  Today I’m reviewing “The Battery” from 2012.  According to All Things Horror on the cover of the DVD, this is “The first must-see zombie film in a hell of a long while.”  If that’s the case, then we’ve been far more desperate than I was possibly aware.

So before I lay into The BAD-tery, let’s figure out a few things … more over, fail to.  I can’t find who “All Things Horror” is online because the name is way too general.  And when you cross your search-terms with “Battery” …. well, you get all-things horror and every brand cell in double-A, triple-A, C, D and so on.

What I can find is the usual Wikipedia, IMDb, and Rotten Tomatoes pages.  So here’s the score …  The film had a budget of $6000.  It was shot in 15 days in Connecticut*, and the scenes were not planned in advance.  There are only 6 zombies for the first hour of the film — that’s 1 zombie for every 10 minutes — so little that I’m not sure this can be called a zombie film.  The film stars debut  director Jeremy Gardner and co-producer Adam Cronheim.  Allegedly their characters are two former baseball players trying to survive a zombie apocalypse — but they’re both so far out of shape clearly they were more likely T-ball coaches trying to hook up with single moms.  Oh, and let’s not forget the gratuitous Z-film breasts …
(* For the record, I have nothing against Connecticut … at this time.)

Watch the extras — this actress said she hated doing the scene, dislikes the name her zombie is know by, and pretty much regrets the role …. and now there are pervy pictures and videos of her all over the net. Given the budget of the film … I doubt she even got a hundred bucks!

So let me give you my rating of The Battery, then tell you what is redeeming about it …

Long & Short, “The Battery” is lucky to get a Yellow Puss rating from me — think more of that putrid orange colour between yellow and red.  It’s dull, it lacks zombies, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere for an hour, and I’m not sure if it went any where 41 minutes later because I skipped through that part then shut it off.  Frankly, you’ll find this on my “Zombie Films to Avoid” page.

Adam Cronheim and Jeremy Gardner

The Battery isn’t completely garbage —
here’s what I liked about it …

If you’ve read my other Z-film blog posts you’ll know that one of the things is dislike is the constant use of The Journey story arc.  This film doesn’t show the start or reasoning behind the “We have to get from Point-A to Point-B” — it just shows that the main characters are traveling through the zombie apocalypse (that mostly lacks zombies).  Also, one of the characters is frequently making a bid for the duo to stop traveling — to stop being on pointless Journey arc.  This is characteristic of what’s going on in The Battery — it is showing the human side of the experience, the relationship between the two men, that some people (understandably) seek normalcy.  For me this is the redeeming part of the film, what makes watching the first hour bearable … er, I mean, vaguely worthwhile — not much other zombie media offers this.

Outside of that, I skipped the last 30 or 40 minutes of the film — and I think you’d be just as well off to skip all 101 minutes of this film.  But … High Fives to Jeremy Gardner and Adam Cronheim — they got to live their dreams of making and staring in a zombie film and pretending they were baseball players.  Whoopie-Doo!

Here … if you really have to, you can watch The Battery on Tubi.

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)

The Dead Don't DieToday I’m reviewing the 2019 zombie film “The Dead Don’t Die“.  If you’ve read my other Z-film reviews you are well aware that I have a rating system.  It works on the Red/Yellow/Green-light colour scheme but with a zombie-film theme….

  • Red Blood — Blood can carry infection, that’s bad, keep away
  • Yellow Puss — Puss is gross, but not the worst thing in the world
  • Green Ooze — There’s a certain kind of freeky-cool thing to ooze if you’re a zombie fan

That said, I’ll get down to the point — I rate The Dead Don’t Die as Red Blood.  Just before watching it I saw someone comment about it online.  They said that you have to appreciate the writer or director’s style of comedy, or it’s in the form of a certain kind of humor — or whatever — but the film is just a stupid, slow-moving, and 103 minutes of non-funny hyper-deadpan pointlessness.

One would think that this film would be magnificent just by looking at the cast listBill MurrayAdam DriverTilda SwintonSteve Buscemi, Selena Gomez, Iggy Pop, Carol Kane, and others not worth mentioning — but it’s . . . well, anything but magnificent.

I think Bill Murray’s character says it best during the first half of the film …

I don’t think you want to see this … this is really awful — maybe the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
This picture depicts about as exciting and interesting this film gets …

I tried finding what the budget was for this cinematic sleep-aid.  The-Numbers.com gave just about every digit except the budget.  Wikipedia would only report that it made $14.9 million Box office — which at movie ticket prices these days that means there are 750,000 people who wished they hadn’t gone to the theater that night.  According to The Irish Times , director Jim Jarmusch said that costs were kept down on this film because “… corporate overlords have sucked up everything, and for me to even get financing is difficult … (the cast) were paid in oatmeal. They were not paid well.

Outside of feeling a bit like early zombie films, there’s no point in seeing this Z-film.  It doesn’t go anywhere and it doesn’t show Z-film fans anything new … or for that matter at all interesting.  If there was anything that prompted me to expel one of the various types of laugh-responses, it wasn’t memorable.  At best, this film belabors the viewer.  Fortunately I didn’t directly watch “The Dead Don’t Die” because there are many other banal things I can think of that are better worth doing for 103 minutes of my time.

Also, “The Dead Don’t Die” performed so magnificently that it made my List Of Zombie Films To AVOID.

Links

The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey

The Girl With All The Gifts by M.R. CareyI became aware of The Girl With All the Gifts from finding and viewing the movie — which was AMAZING!

I recently completed the audiobook by M.R. Carey, narrated by Finty Williams.  Among other accomplishments M.R. “Mike” Carey  is the current writer on Marvel’s X-Men.  Finty Williams is an English actress and the daughter of Dame Judi Dench.

The basic premise of the story …
In the future humanity has all-but been wiped out by a fungus.  This new and powerful spore turns the host — human beings — into mindless eating machines, referred to as “hungries”.  When they are prompted to capture and consume some protein they can move at high speeds, without fatigue, and be deadly.  When it comes to food … birds, cats, dogs, humans … anything will do.

Melanie is a 10 year old girl living a controlled life on a military base.  She very smart, loves learning, and likes her teacher.  When the base falls under attack, everything breaks down — Melanie, her teacher, a scientist, and a few military men are thrust into the wild.

And this is where I don’t say anything more to avoid giving spoilers.

All that said …

I thought the film was good.  The book, so far as I could tell, had more going on in it — as books often do.  I would say that the film did a great job of honoring the content and spirit of the story — making changes as needed to achieve the film.  As I neared completion of the audiobook I reordered the film from my local library; it will be interesting to re-watch the film.  Also, I have become aware that Carey wrote a second book in the series — a prequel titled “The Boy on the Bridge“.

If you take nothing else away from this commentary — take this …

The book and the film are one of those rare pieces that change everything for its genre — the bar has been raised!

Girl With All The Gifts crosses multiple genres — zombie, military fiction, drama, and even sci-fi.  It gives story elements you do not expect.  Carey has made a futuristic declining-apocalyptical setting that could support many more stories — and with any luck …. it will!

LINKS

 

The Patriotic Piper – PUBLISHED!

The Patriotic Piper, Vol. 01 EBOOK COVERThe Patriotic Piper, Vol. I” — my first Highland bagpipe sheet music book — has PUBLISHED!!!  Since it’s launch last Sunday things have been non-stop.  I’ve spent nearly 10 hours each day promoting the book online — mostly talking with people about its contents and my approach to the work.  Positive reviews are coming in on Amazon and people are saying great things on Facebook.  The book and e-book even hit Amazon’s “#1 New Release in Military Marches“.

Here’s the short list of what’s in the first installment of
The Patriotic Piper …

  • 20 traditional Scottish American military and patriotic bagpipe compositions, arranged into 8 performance numbers
  • 15 delicious Scottish and Irish recipes
  • Numerous history and trivia writings accompanying the tunes and recipes

(Click here for a Longer Description)

Patriotic Piper Vol. I COVER FRONT
An early arrival! (Front Cover)

Various people have messaged saying that their copies are already showing up in the mail.  They tell me the book looks great, and it is even more interesting and fun than they expected.  As an author … well … that tells me I did my job!

Patriotic Piper Vol. 01 COVER BACK
(Back Cover)

Several proud new book owners claim to like my concept of accompanying the compositions with the tune histories.  Some even said that this was a deciding factor in their book purchase.  Numerous people have indicated their excitement about my inclusion of traditional Scottish and Irish recipes as the second half of the book.  Certainly, there’s something for everyone in The Patriotic Piper, Vol. 01.

The Patriotic Piper is a fundraiser item for the Scottish American Military Society Post #1889.  Not only am I a member, I also serve as an officer leading our small but stout Pipe & Drum corps.  This is the official music collection of the Post.  The monies raised by this book will assist Post 1889 with their projects.  S.A.M.S. is a national organization and is a Congressionally Chartered Veterans Service Organization, which is dedicated to the preservation of the contributions of the Scots to the American Military and Society.

The Patriotic Piper is Available Now on Amazon
Print Edition — Published 22Nov2020
E-Book — Published 05Nov2020

Find The Patriotic Piper
At GoodReads and
At Whidbey Island Baking Company