Tag Archives: 2012

Movie, Review, Zombies

Dead Before Dawn (2012)

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Dead Before Dawn (2012)A CURSE IS UNLEASHED in Dead Before Dawn!

A group of college friends — some of whom play football and wear cheer leader outfits for a high school, because that isn’t confusing — accidentally break an evil urn in an occult gift shop.  As the dust settles they inadvertently create a horrible curse — is there any other kind —  UPON THEMSELVES!

SPHS
SPHS — yeah… usually HS means High School — so how are they college students?!?  Is it possible that these “college” students attend St. Paul’s High School in Winnipeg, Manitoba?

As a result of the malediction, everyone they make eye contact with will kill themselves and then become “Zemons” — a combination of Zombie Demons — and the high school college kids only have 24 hours to reverse the curse!  With the fate of the entire world resting on their shoulders, our heroes race through the night armed with a slew of homemade weapons, avoiding eye contact and hickeys, and filling their shopping list of items needed to reverse their curse.  Will they be able to reverse the curse and save the day, or will all of humanity be Dead Before Dawn?

spawn from Hell seeks loving gentleman
This gave me flashbacks of some of my ex-girfriends … oh yeah, good times.

Dead Before Dawn is not a serious zombie film.

If you come away from DBD thinking, “You know, as serious films of the zombie genre go … that sucked!”  I read reviews that essentially said this, and those people MISSED THE POINT.

Spoof – A humorous imitation of something, typically a film or a particular genre of film, in which its characteristic features are exaggerated for comic effect.

Dead Before Dawn is similar to Z Nation — they’re intentionally trying to be goofy and make fun of comedy zombie films (see “parody“).  For me this was an unexpected film and looked like what films of this sort should be — fun to make.  It made me feel like I was watching Fido for the first time again.

free candy
Emmett Lathrop “Doc” Brown, Ph.D. – a student of all sciences and the inventor of the first time machine built out of a DeLorean
Christopher Lloyd
If you don’t recognize this guy it’s Christopher Lloyd playing a high school senior in 1958

Give this blood-soaked adventure horror–comedy a watch — it’s an unexpected fun zombie-demon flick from Canada, great for a laid-back kick-back chuckle with friends.

Written by Tim Doiron and directed by April Mullen, it stars a bunch of folks I’m not familiar with and presume are Canadian along with Christopher Lloyd — who I will always think of as Emmett “Doc” Brown.  88 minutes long, this is the first ever live-action, 100% Canadian feature film to be shot in Stereoscopic 3-D.  Filmed in 20 days in and around the Niagara Falls region of Canada in 2011, it features occasional adult humor and it achieves being a fun film without revealing adult body parts frequently found in zombie films.

I rate Dead Before Dawn — drum roll please — Green Ooze!  Maybe moderately green, but definitely green — good job Canucks!

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Movie, Zombies

The Battery (2012)

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Wow — sometimes I really hate this hobby … reviewing zombie films.  Today I’m reviewing “The Battery” from 2012.  According to All Things Horror on the cover of the DVD, this is “The first must-see zombie film in a hell of a long while.”  If that’s the case, then we’ve been far more desperate than I was possibly aware.

So before I lay into The BAD-tery, let’s figure out a few things … more over, fail to.  I can’t find who “All Things Horror” is online because the name is way too general.  And when you cross your search-terms with “Battery” …. well, you get all-things horror and every brand cell in double-A, triple-A, C, D and so on.

What I can find is the usual Wikipedia, IMDb, and Rotten Tomatoes pages.  So here’s the score …  The film had a budget of $6000.  It was shot in 15 days in Connecticut*, and the scenes were not planned in advance.  There are only 6 zombies for the first hour of the film — that’s 1 zombie for every 10 minutes — so little that I’m not sure this can be called a zombie film.  The film stars debut  director Jeremy Gardner and co-producer Adam Cronheim.  Allegedly their characters are two former baseball players trying to survive a zombie apocalypse — but they’re both so far out of shape clearly they were more likely T-ball coaches trying to hook up with single moms.  Oh, and let’s not forget the gratuitous Z-film breasts …
(* For the record, I have nothing against Connecticut … at this time.)

Watch the extras — this actress said she hated doing the scene, dislikes the name her zombie is know by, and pretty much regrets the role …. and now there are pervy pictures and videos of her all over the net. Given the budget of the film … I doubt she even got a hundred bucks!

So let me give you my rating of The Battery, then tell you what is redeeming about it …

Long & Short, “The Battery” is lucky to get a Yellow Puss rating from me — think more of that putrid orange colour between yellow and red.  It’s dull, it lacks zombies, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere for an hour, and I’m not sure if it went any where 41 minutes later because I skipped through that part then shut it off.  Frankly, you’ll find this on my “Zombie Films to Avoid” page.

Adam Cronheim and Jeremy Gardner

The Battery isn’t completely garbage —
here’s what I liked about it …

If you’ve read my other Z-film blog posts you’ll know that one of the things is dislike is the constant use of The Journey story arc.  This film doesn’t show the start or reasoning behind the “We have to get from Point-A to Point-B” — it just shows that the main characters are traveling through the zombie apocalypse (that mostly lacks zombies).  Also, one of the characters is frequently making a bid for the duo to stop traveling — to stop being on pointless Journey arc.  This is characteristic of what’s going on in The Battery — it is showing the human side of the experience, the relationship between the two men, that some people (understandably) seek normalcy.  For me this is the redeeming part of the film, what makes watching the first hour bearable … er, I mean, vaguely worthwhile — not much other zombie media offers this.

Outside of that, I skipped the last 30 or 40 minutes of the film — and I think you’d be just as well off to skip all 101 minutes of this film.  But … High Fives to Jeremy Gardner and Adam Cronheim — they got to live their dreams of making and staring in a zombie film and pretending they were baseball players.  Whoopie-Doo!

Here … if you really have to, you can watch The Battery on Tubi.

Movie, Review, Zombies

Outpost: Black Sun (2012)

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The short writing about Outpost: Black Sun is this …. at one time I had a longer writing …. it’s relative to that time that I thought I didn’t need to back-up my hard drive.  Lesson learned; now I back-up like a mad-man.

More or less to say, Outpost: Black Sun is the Yellow Puss-rated additional film that should have been made to compliment the original 2008 Outpost.

The story for Outpost: Black Sun works; you get to revisit the dangerous location found in the original film and yet go further in.  The phase-shifting zombie-Nazis are now more of a threat — in this case, to the whole world!  There are some creative liberties I could have done without.  The sad thing is that this film has less money behind it (or at least to my understanding) than Outpost: Rise of the Spetsnaz and did far more to carry the story line.  Had only the wasted Rise of the Spetsnaz money been put to this film, then Black Sun could have been even better.  If you liked the original Outpost, see Outpost: Black Sun —  skip seeing Outpost: Rise of the Spetsnaz.

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Catherine Steadman as Nazi-hunter Lena … WOWIE!
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Searching for Sugar Man (2012)

Written 10Oct2016 – 28Oct2016

“Searching for Sugar Man” is the unbelievable-but-true story of an iconic musician who did not know he was famous.  While the artist’s music was influential, he seemed to have never existed.

Yeah – you read that right.

This story begins in Detroit, 1968 …

One night in 1968 Detroit, two renowned producers — Mike Theodore and Dennis Coffey — intentionally went to a back-alley bar.  They wanted to hear a rumored musician known as Sixto Rodriguez.  He played and they listened.  So impressed with his craft, they quickly offered him a recording deal.  To their surprise, when his first albums were released in 1970 and 71 … they tanked!

As the singer / songwriter faded into obscurity, bootleg recordings of Sixto Rodriguez’s album found their way around apartheid South Africa. Here, unbeknownst to him, over the following two decades his music became a cultural phenomenon — but no one knew who the artist was…

“Searching for Sugar Man” gives the account of two Cape Town fans in the late 1990s endeavoring to solve the mysteries surrounding their hero.

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NOTE – Dennis Coffey and Mike Theodore also worked with Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, The Temptations, The Supremes, Gladys Knight, Ringo Starr, The Four Tops, and Wilson Pickett, among others.  Yeah, these guys are no joke.  Also, this film does not draw attention to the fact that Sixto Rodriguez did get attention in Australia.  The film receives some criticism for this, suggesting that it is ‘myth building’.  The argument against the criticism is that the film is not attempting to build a story about the artist; instead its purpose is to tell the story of the two fans and their search into the history of this artist.