Tag Archives: 2015

Movie, Review, Zombies

The Vanguard (2008)

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Yellow Puss

I’m not sure if this is a Z-film.  Mashing together a few online summations of this film (mostly from IMDB) consists of … Zombie

The year is 2015.  Overpopulation and famine have plunged our planet into chaos.  One desperate survivor — an enigmatic man — journeys through this apocalyptic world hunted and pursued by hordes of rage-crazed zombies.

Frankly, that sounds like a pretty cool film — not to mention that we’ve seemed to survive that 2015 issue — but my perception was …. different. Zombie

In some respects The Vanguard seems to be a psychological abstract art-house film with black comedy bits — not to mention the presence of humans who have been medicated by some controlling corporation which turns them into mindless wondering killers, which strikes me as a possible different approach to ZOMBIES.

Mind you, the zombies are on the peripheral to the story and they look like they were created using left-over make-up from either of the Evil Dead films.  And what the heck the story of the film has to do with its cool name …. I haven’t a clue! Zombie

Frankly, this looks like another DIY flick.  Looking at IMDB …. it’s written and directed by Matthew Hope,  it’s classified as a low budget film … it appears to have been acted using friends and volunteers, and possibly assembled on a used iMac — but this was well done.  I liked it and I’m happy having seen it only once.

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Movie, Review, Zombies

Navy SEALs Vs. Zombies (2015)

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Navy Seals vs. Zombies, Navy Seals vs. Zombies
AKA Navy Seals vs. Zombies

After a deadly zombie outbreak in Louisiana, a team of highly skilled U.S. Navy SEALs are sent into  Baton Rouge to rescue the Vice President.  Embarking on the battle of their lives, they must fight for the city and their survival against an army of the undead.

That sounds pretty good right?  For zombie films it sounds par for course — and let’s face it, Z-film par has a history of being schlocky.  While I have seen worse (not to mention better, Much BETTER), this seems to be a throw-back to 1970s and 1980s schlock.

B-film SEALs
The guys — ready to go fishing!

Navy SEALs Vs. Zombies came up when I searched my local library system’s website for all-things ‘zombie’.  Surprisingly, enough other people where interested it took weeks to become first in the cue.  Watching this, I give it a Yellow Puss rating.  Don’t break your neck to see this film — if you are a zombie fan with a couple of hours to kill on the weekend and need to recharge your batteries, crash your couch and check it out.

I'd date her
Who needs a good script when there’s at least one pretty girl in the film

This is a film with C-string actors and a B-string script working in an industry that is well known for being tough with rare breaks.  It seems that this is such a B-film that they couldn’t cast an actor as the president — he had to be the vice president.  Frequently the dialogue lags, but then if the timing was better then this wouldn’t be a 97 minute film.  Between the costumes, props, and language the main characters give just enough of the right vibe to feel like Navy SEALs.  They even have operator beards, however I have never heard of an operator pony tail.  As for the zombies, they move fast, their makeup is pretty rabid, and when they attack they have their moments of intensity.

On a personal note…
Affliction Z - Patient Zero by L.T. Ryan
I loved to pick this up, I hated when I needed to put it down … but I fella has to sleep sometime.

Around the time of viewing Navy SEALs Vs. Zombies I was finishing reading “Affliction Z: Patient Zero” by L.T. Ryan.  In his book a team of SEALs are dropped into Nigeria to rescue a group of U.S. Army Rangers who went in earlier — and like the SEALs in this film, they get surprised by zombie afflicted people.  While this film is so-so, it gave a visual representation of similar fiction (just that I’ve enjoyed L.T. Ryan’s book much more)

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Movie, Review, Zombies

A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

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Christmas is drawing near and things are melting down in the town of Bailey Downs … and at best, I rate A Christmas Horror Story as Yellow Puss.

A Christmas Horror Story clearly resides among its own as a B-film.  It attempts to interweave four horror stories, each of which to varying degrees have little if anything to do with Christmas myth.

If you pay closer attention to this pot-boiler than I did, allegedly the framework of these stories are tied together by a character named DJ Dangerous Dan — a lonely late-night radio personality, waxing on about how he loves Xmas while hitting the eggnog while getting understandably abandoned by the radio station staff.

Hi Bill!

DJ Dan is played by none other than James T. Kirk — clearly a retirement job following his service as Captain aboard the infamous Starship Enterprise … who is probably the only actor you will recognize.

First Story – Three teens break into their school to investigate two murders that occurred the previous year. They mysteriously get locked in the basement  and then — SURPRISE — the horror begins!  This story has nothing to do with Christmas.

Second Story – A husband, wife, and their son go into the woods to chop down a Christmas tree.  The son wanders off and gets switched for a changeling who mimics him and then — SURPRISE — the horror begins!  Aside from the Pagany changeling and Christmas tree, this story too has nothing to do with Christmas.  In other words, these first two stories are just FILLER to justify bringing William Shatner into the film and to bolster the other two stories into a 107 minute B-movie made in Canada.

Third Story – A yuppie family of four visit their elderly aunt and behave poorly.  This attracts the attention of Krampus and while on their way home they are picked off one at a time.  This is the first portion of the story where the filmmakers take liberties with Krampus mythos …. but then HolloWood has given us far worse.   As a result this story has a little to do with Christmas.

Fourth Story – A fittingly Nordic-looking Santa Claus is at his workshop preparing for a busy Christmas when he discovers that his elves and Mrs. Claus have turned into zombies.  He manages to kill them all and then for an unapparent reason Santa is then forced to fight Krampus.  This is where the filmmakers quite unfortunately took the most gross liberties with the Krampus character (AKA Black Peter).  Krampus gets turned into a villain — white hats, black hats … everyone needs a villain — the problem though is that in Krampus mythos he is only a threat to bad kids/people.  In fact, Krampus and St. Nick have always worked together — on Krampusnacht (Krampus night) around December 5th he arrived to punish children who have misbehaved while of course Saint Nicholas would reward well-behaved children with gifts.  In other words, when Krampus became suppressed his tasks were given to Santa who would ‘make his list of who’s naughty and nice’.

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