Tag Archives: cowboy

Movie, Review, Zombies

Quick and The Undead, The (2006)

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You can't tell me that this doesn't look like an angry cowboy monkey
!!!ANGRY COWBOY MONKEY!!!

So far as I’m aware, The Quick And The Undead is one of two movies that combine the themes of zombies and cowboys — the other one being Undead or Alive (2007), which is a much better film.  As for this one . . .

A viral outbreak has turned three quarters of the world population into the walking dead. In the old west, bounty hunters are humanity’s only salvation.

So I’m watching The Quick And The Undead while writing this review.  I’ll be finished in about an hour, and I predict I’m going to say two things:

1) It’s impressive what a person can do with their friends as “actors”, a $20 digital video camera from a liquidator store, a used Macintosh, and a few spare weekends.  But who knows, maybe there’s someone in this before they got famous.  Heck, Marisa Tomei had a no-nothing part in The Toxic Avenger — it wasn’t seen until the release of the director’s cut was released 20-odd years later, but look where she got.

 . . . AND . . .
If I just do this one film I'll be FAMOUS in HolloWood
Best friends

2) I’m glad I watched The Quick And The Undead before Undead or Alive.  The Quick And the Undead would probably be a bigger roach to watch following Undead or Alive.

So how did this gem come to be?

This is worse than it looks
Sneakers, t-shirt, arm band tattoo, a town that’s not old …. REALLY …. did ya guys even try?!?

Written, directed, and acted by people you’ve never heard of with a movie poster that looks like an angry cowboy monkey.  The main character is based on (read “ripped-off”) Clint Eastwood and the characters he played in westerns.  Yep, it’s a turd — I rate The Quick And The Undead as pure Red Blood, and it made my List Of Zombie Films To AVOID.

CONCLUSION

Instead of watching The Quick and the Undead, look at this Angry Cowboy Monkey … and then go re-watch Firefly (TV show, 2002) and Serenity (follow-up film, 2005).

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Movie, Review, Zombies

Undead or Alive (2007)

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Undead Or AliveI rate Undead Or Alive as Green Ooze — and apparently the actual title is Undead or Alive: A Zombedy.  So what’s the story…?

When a soldier on the run from the Union Army (James Denton) and a cowboy with a broken heart (Chris Kattan) rob the corrupt sheriff of an old west town, they have no idea that a plague of zombies is sweeping the country, or that Geronimo‘s sexy niece (Navi Rawat) may be their only hope of survival.

James Denton, Chris Kattan, and Navi Rawat
James Denton, Chris Kattan, and Navi Rawat

This film was fun — not necessarily a good film but it was decently made and fun to watch.  A comedic zombie film that takes place in the old west … yeah, that sounds different!

So now that I’ve seen it following Quick & the Dead,
what do I have to say…?

1) I was right, Undead or Alive is considerably better than Quick & the Dead and I’m extraordinarily glad I saw Q&tDead prior to Undead or Alive.

. . . AND . . .
Navi Rawat in buckskins
Navi Rawat in buckskins … really, what more do you need in this world?

2) Navi Rawat somewhat scantily clad in buckskins acting as a vindictive Native American woman — what more needs to be said abut watching this film?!?  I’m not a male chauvinist, I’m just a healthy heterosexual man and I know what I like.  Navi, if you’re reading this, if you feel as so motivated please click on my Contact page.
(PSST! By the way, Navi Rawat is East Indian and German in descent, not Native American — chalk this casting up to the brilliance of HolloWood.  Oh, and in writing this review I learned that “chauvinism” doesn’t mean what we’ve come to associate it as meaning — it actually more or less means “patriotic” — you might benefit from studying up on it yourself.)

sheriff and deputy zombies

Remember, in the old west “Guns don’t kill people. Zombies kill people.” …. or at least that was the film’s tagline.

Navi Rawat ... lovely

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